look at my journal entries boy
04/27/25
Hello loving fans. Ive been workin on the website again so i figured id update this! ill be honest, ive mostly been working on the parhelion gate site. this one isnt as important to me but its still fun :) i think ill keep this funky website theme.
ive been playing a new dnd game with some friends! its nice to not have to stress about DMing. my closest friend at the table (besides my partner) is the DM and he's amazing at it. its a bunch of fun, but it also makes me miss playing with my friends... its crazy how long its been. i made my OCs Cai and Torian in umm 2021(??) and now im older than they were at the beginning of the story!!
so im turning 25 soon! its hard not to stress out about feeling like i haven't "accomplished" anything post-college. but my seasonal job just started back up again, and i really enjoy it, so whatever!! im making lots of things too! like this website lol! and im doing a lot better than i was last year. im really happy to be here and im happy its spring!!
01/17/25
im organizing the apartment a bit today. i was going through my big bin of loose papers when i found something that made me smile. anyone reading probably knows about him, but one of the guys i worked with last summer/fall is 80 years young and exchanges weekly letters with his brother, who is even older and lives in.. i wanna say France? Italy?somewhere in europe. my memory sucks. anyways, his brother mostly prints out quotes and articles and abbreviates them or translates them into english for him. sometimes my coworker would let me read them while we were hanging out and then tell me to just keep them.
one was a lovely article about maine forests, called the teenage woods by rusty foster. this article is great, and made me think about In All Its Glory, my first ever "big" creative project, which takes place in baxter state park. the author also roasted thoreau, which made me very happy, because fuck that guy.
"Nothing is fixed, everything is in flux. ...I think the Maine forest has an energy to it that emanates from this vigorous explosion of life."
In IAIG, the transitory quality of the woods are a key point in the story. rituals take place in the woods, bodies are changed in the woods. one guy turns into an angel, and id call that a "vigorous explosion of life." I think about revisiting IAIG every once in a while, but im not really sure if i can save the plot. it didnt make very much sense. but i will forever cherish the time i convinced my friends to drive 8 hours to camp in the middle of nowhere so that we could go to baxter state park. i got to hike doubletop, a mountain near katahdin, so i could take a bunch of reference photos for the webcomic that I thought id make someday. it was wonderful to experience it for myself.
Writing stories and making characters are my favorite modes of self expression. I didnt know it at the time, but the two main characters of IAIG were facets of me. Shiloh was a college dropout, disillusioned with, well, everything. Hale was a charasmatic and intense trans guy. I dont remember how the idea for IAIG came about, but i do remember designing Hale after a piebald deer i saw in a photo. he has antlers, but they are nowhere near as developed as his father's. and please dont cancel me for this, but i love sexual dimorphism in animals, especially when you can factor it into trans furry designs. in a sketchbook somewhere, theres art of Hale as a little kid wearing makeshift antlers. its very cute and makes me sad.
i always found the concept of self insert characters interesting. isnt every character a self insert? ive never made a character completely unlike me. i dont think it would be possible. i will say that shiloh was meant to be a bit of a self insert (shes a bobcat, for god's sake), but it turns out that hale was one too. shiloh was a name I considered when i realized i was trans that year. and if you know me, you know where hale ended up. idk, i dont think ill ever do anything with IAIG, but im gonna make a project page for it just in case. i didnt think id ever do anything with cape coyote, but here i am trying to make a visual novel about it!
this was long, and if you read it, i salute you. keep it real
01/15/25
I've been feeling really creative lately, so I'm picking this project back up. I mostly want to finish the DBJ site and work on my other projects, but I want this site to be decent, as well.
12/02/24
hahaha whoops i sure forgot about this little project didnt i!
9/17/24
here i will share my thoughts on serious topics such as music and video games. look forward to it....